Your child has entered the teenage years. You enjoyed the first thirteen years of your child’s life. You worried about them every day. You changed so many diapers during their early years and watched with a smile on your face as their team placed first in the sixth grade soccer championship. You guided them through the struggles in life such as bruised shins and taking their first test at school.
Surely those were the hardest years? Now they are growing up. Now they are a bit more independent Jeremy Roenick Throwback Jersey , a bit more mature, surely things will get easier? They are big enough to help out with some chores. They can look after themselves for an evening if you want a well earned night off. You can have sensible conversations with them.
So what goes wrong when they hit that-th Birthday??? In many cultures they would now be considered adults – old enough to marry, old enough to sit in the village council to listen to the debates with the elders. Yet in the West, the teen years seem, so often, to be full of strife and conflict. Why does this occur?
There are two parts to the answer: biology and culture.
The brain is intricate. It is in a great state of growth and development during the teenage years. It is always growing, expanding, evaluating Jeremy Roenick Blackhawks Jersey , and making links. These links build the foundation for memory, learning, perception, and social rationale.
From birth through age 12, your child’s brain experiences and learns a large amount. At birth the brain communicates through non-verbal means and by age 12 your child can communicate through effective verbal and reasoning means.
Then the teenage years hit the brain like a tornado. The brain goes into a state of shambles after which it rebuilds itself. While your brain is rebuilding itself your child might not be able to do some of the things they could before. For example, speaking to the opposite sex has suddenly become virtually impossible without becoming quite nervous. Throughout the teen years your child will need to understand the components of social interaction and how they fit into the whole social scene. They will make friends and strive to find their sexual ife partner.
Understanding the intricacies of the social scene can be difficult for their teenage brain. Their brain goes back and forth between its modes of operation during their pre-teen years and how they are expected to act as teens. This conflict can make the social behavior of a teenager inconsistent and sometimes confusing.
This conflict is also affected greatly by the ups and downs of their sex hormones. Plus, teens tend to stay up late and lose out on much needed sleep. These factors together can make for one irritable teenager.
But there is more, and this is the second factor: The teen years are also a time of shifting expectations. The language of expectations is contained in words such as “should” Jeremy Roenick Jersey , “ought”, “at this age”, “normal”. And the teen years seem to be especially filled with such words – what should a-,–, 16 year old be allowedexpected to do? What expectations of “normal” behavior do the parents, the teenager, the friends, the teachers Brandon Saad Jersey On Sale , the neighbors, the police, the society have? Are they not often very confused and mixed?
This leads into the difficulty with imposing expectations. If you have one, then there is the possibility that your expectation will not be met. A behavior that is considered a “no-no” is turned into a big problem.
The combination of the varying expectations, sex hormones, and plain teenage angst cause your teenager to act like an angel one minute and a scounderel the next.
So, how do you manage all of this? Here are some ideas. Next time you are in an argument with your teen – or getting frustrated with his or her behavior, consider the following:
1) Bickering and yelling will get you no closer to a resolution.
2) Your teenager wants to have the best outcome as well. They are relying on the extent of their perceptions and skills which could be far different from yours.
3) Remember your teenager is still trying to sort life out and may not understand either why you are fighting.
4) Whose problem is this? Whose agenda? What Brandon Saad Authentic Jersey , exactly, will happen if the outcome of all of this is opposite to your desires? Does that *really* matter, in the grand scheme of things?
5) Is there another way of motivating your teenager to comply, other than trying to bully him?
6) Remember, your teenager will outgrow the teenager years eventually. Think about the future and how you will want to remember this time in your lives.
Yes, have rules. Yes have expectations. But, at the same time, Mom NHL Brandon Saad Jersey , Dad, chill out a bit. Don’t totally alienate them – find some ways of having FUN again.
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